Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough to do the job you’ve been hired to do — and that your boss might figure it out at any moment? Or maybe you’ve felt like you’re only pretending to be an adult who’s capable of buying a home or raising a human child, even though everyone else you know has it totally figured out.
Spoiler alert: Most other people have felt this way too.
No matter how much evidence there is that we’re successfully navigating our lives, jobs and relationships, many of us hold false beliefs that we aren’t actually as capable or smart as others think we are. This is called imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon.
It isn’t a diagnosis or a medical problem but rather a pattern of thinking that can lead to self-doubt, negative self-talk and missed opportunities.
“It’s the feeling that everyone else knows exactly what they’re doing, but you feel lost,” explains psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD. “You have this fear that the people around you are going to figure out that you don’t know what you’re talking about and expose you as a fraud.”
The worst part about imposter syndrome? It can easily turn into a cycle with seriously negative consequences. But recognizing it and having the tools to get past it can stop you from getting in your own way.
If you’ve ever felt like an imposter, you’re in good company. One study estimated that 7 in 10 adults experience it at some point or another.
The original imposter syndrome study in the 1970s revolved around high-achieving women who had trouble attributing their own success to themselves. But when you fast forward to today, men, women and everybody experiences this phenomenon.
Interestingly, it’s often people who are hard workers, high achievers and perfectionists who are most likely to feel like frauds – including many doctors, lawyers, academics and celebrities. Even Einstein once said that he thought his research got way more attention than he thought it deserved.
But then, how do you overcome Imposter Syndrome? Keep Reading!
OVERCOMING IMPOSTER SYNDROME
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Acknowledging the thoughts and putting them in perspective.
One of the first steps to overcoming impostor feelings is to simply observing that thought as opposed to engaging it can be helpful. For me, I critically question those thoughts rather run away from it. I ask myself, ‘Does that thought help or hinder me?’ Recognize that just because you think these things doesn’t mean they are true. “If your mind says, ‘I don’t know what I’m talking about,’ remind yourself that you know more than you think you do and are capable of learning. Chances are, you’ll feel imposter syndrome creeping in at some point in your life.
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TALK TO A TRUSTED FRIEND OR A THERAPIST
Sometimes, a good chat with someone who knows you and supports you can help you realize that your imposter feelings are normal but also irrational. People who have more experience can reassure you that what you’re feeling is normal, and knowing others have been in your position can make it seem less scary. If you want to delve more deeply into these feelings, a therapist can help you recognize feelings associated with imposter syndrome and create new behaviors to get past them.
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STOP COMPARING
I focused on measuring my own achievements instead of holding them up against others. Comparing your own life to a carefully curated influencer’s social media feed, for example, is a trap for feeling like you don’t measure up. So the trick is to turn imposter syndrome on its head: Remember that smart, high-achieving people most often deal with imposter syndrome. So the very fact that you recognize it in yourself says a lot about you. True imposters don’t have this feeling, because they are aware that they are imposters. Let that be motivation to continue pushing forward.
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TAKE NOTE OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
In moments where you feel less-than, it can be helpful to have a tangible reminder of your successes. When your manager sends you an email recognizing your excellent work on a project, save that email in a special folder. If your child makes you a card telling you what a great parent you are, hang it on the fridge where you’ll be able to see it on a day when it feels like nothing’s going right.
Most people experience moments of doubt, and that’s normal. The important part is not to let that doubt control your actions. Action really helps overcome imposter syndrome. It’s about not getting stuck in the thought of ‘I can’t do this’ but making sure that you take action and move forward. Remember, the goal is not to never feel like an impostor.
